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Being Sorry
Being So''r''ry Episode Nine, Season Six, of Cold. Enjoy <3 Being Sorry Brownhare sat down next to Shade in the middle of the clearing on the island. Shade seemed perfectly fine with the tom, though I could tell things hadn’t completely healed between them. So what did Brownhare want to tell us? The brown tom’s gaze seemed free of guilt today, and he took in a deep breath, “As you all know,” he started quietly, “I betrayed you all to the Underground.” Ryewillow lashed her tail angrily while Snowbreeze lowered her gaze to the ground. “I had my reason for doing that.” Willowfur curled her lip, “Then why?” Shade shot her a warning look. I laid my tail on Willowfur’s shoulder and whispered, “He’s going to tell us, mousebrain.” She growled softly, obviously not enthusiastic about listening to Brownhare. Gorse was sitting beside me, his eyes narrowed to slits, his anger barely controlled. “On the day you all were gone from the island, I was watching Shade. Storm, you had just left,” he acknowledged me, “after our conversation. That’s when someone told me that if I wanted to save Shade, I had to do as he instructed.” Brownhare looked determined, though he was shaking ever so slightly, “It was the Underground leader, and he had cats surrounding me and one cat was pinning down Shade. She was still unconscious, and didn’t realize anything was happening. “The leader told me to give ‘my’ plan to Gorse. It would be completely defensive, yet vulnerable to the Underground’s attacks. I agreed, and from that day on, the leader constantly checked in on me.” At first silence met his words. Then Gorse snarled, “Then why did you tell me today to attack tonight? They were ready for us and we nearly lost cats again!” Tessa flinched at the words “again”. I saw Dawnfur comforting her, and turned my attention to Brownhare. The brown tom frowned, “Just a day ago, the Underground leader informed me that he was planning to lay a siege on the Eagles’ camp to force Gorse to give in. I couldn’t let you guys attack tomorrow night, because then it would be too late. I didn’t know the Underground were prepared for an attack tonight though.” Ryewillow stepped forward, still bristling. “I don’t care if you were forced into doing this. You could have told us and we could have protected Shade and you!” Shade breathed in sharply, and I lashed my tail. Ryewillow was right, but I understood why Brownhare did it all. Dawnfur nodded, “You were acting cowardly, protecting your girlfriend instead of protecting us all. We lost Kouhai because of you!” Snowbreeze’s eyes were now fierce, “Because of you, so many lives could have been lost. Lives that some of us cared about. Just because you saved someone you loved, doesn’t mean its okay.” Tessa’s voice quieted them all, “He did the right thing.” Ryewillow gaped, “What do you mean?” The ginger she-cat lifted her green gaze and met Brownhare’s. “I mean exactly what I said. If we were in his position, would we do any differently?” Dawnfur opened her mouth to say yes, but Tessa interrupted her, “Dawnfur,” she mewed softly, “If Flameheart’s life the one being threatened, would you risk his life?” The cream colored she-cat shook her head, looking frustrated. “Ryewillow,” Tessa continued, “What about you? What if Kouhai was the one about to be killed?” The young ThunderClan she-cat bit her lip and hesitated before shaking her head too. “In a way,” Tessa mewed, “Brownhare should be punished for what he’s done. But he had his reasons, and we all have ours. He was right to help Shade live, though he was wrong to stay silent for so long.” I stepped forward, “She’s right. Brownhare will remain part of our group, but he will not return to his full duties until he proves himself.” Brownhare looked hesitant, but Shade looked on approvingly. Willowfur frowned, “Alright, how about we listen to Brownhare’s plan?” “What plan?” Dawnfur snorted, “Who says he has one?” “I do have a plan,” Brownhare mewed quietly, “Though I’m not sure you all want to hear it.” I flicked my tail, indicating for him to speak. Brownhare stepped forward, “The Underground are always expecting a ground attack now, since they know Gorse’s allies rely on being on the ground.” Gorse shifted slightly. “So we should all stay in the trees and drop down from there, giving us the advantage of surprise. Two cats should always stay together, or even three a group. Stay with that group and don’t get separated. If necessary, regroup.” At first, nobody responded. Then Gorse reluctantly piped up, “I think that’s a good plan.” Shade nodded, “It’s well thought out.” “I had time,” Brownhare muttered. “We’ll execute that tomorrow,” I mewed briskly, “Everyone get some rest or go hunting. Don’t leave the island unless you’re hunting though.” ~ “Shade,” a voice startled her. The dark gray she-cat turned and spotted Brownhare standing a good distance behind her. “I’m sorry about everything,” he mewed, his eyes full of sorrow. Shade grimaced. She had always tried to shut out emotions whenever talking to Brownhare, but it never worked. He made her so unbalanced, so…excited for his next move. Even now… “It’s okay,” she mewed briskly, “What’s done is done.” Brownhare’s eyes softened, “Is that what you really want?” “Of course not!” The brown tom took two steps forward, “I want to be here for you, Shade,” he admitted, “Yes, I don’t love you, but I know I’ll always protect you. I still feel something when I’m near you, and I know that nobody can force me away from your side.” Her heart quickened and she quickly took a few gulps of air before replying. “What are you suggesting?” Brownhare searched her eyes with his luminous yellow ones, “If you’re open to it,” he started softly, “I’d like for us to start healing.” “Us?” Shade breathed out, “Together or separate?” He smiled sadly, “Together.” Shade knew it was a first small step, and perhaps it would not last long. Brownhare had broken her heart multiple times. But still… This gave her hope. ~ Dawnfur closed her eyes and breathed in shallowly. She couldn’t shake the scent out of her mind. The scent of the rogues who had poured into ShadowClan’s camp, tore out her mother’s throat, and left with her sister. The images were so vivid in her mind, they hadn’t gone away since that fateful day… “Dawnkit, into the den, quick!” Her mother shouted urgently. The cream colored she-cat didn’t want to, but Palekit nudged her into the Nursery. “Come on,” her sister urged, “Don’t let Creamheart worry.” Dawnkit sighed and followed her sister, “Do you know why Blackstar looks so tense?” Palekit shrugged, “I heard some warriors say that there were rogues in the territory and possibly coming for our-” “Rogues!” The cry went up. Creamheart stuck her head in, her eyes wild, “Stay in the Nursery and hide if you have to, okay?” Palekit immediately nodded seriously, and after a bit, Dawnkit followed her lead. Creamheart saw Dawnkit’s stricken look and mewed softly, “I promise I won’t let them get any of you.” “Alright,” Dawnkit whispered, “Stay safe and come back. Promise.” “I promise.” The rogues charged in, and Creamheart’s shriek tore through Dawnkit’s heart as she dove into the interior of the Nursery’s walls. Brambles pricked at her, but she burrowed in there, hiding desperately. “Palekit!” Dawnkit when she saw that her sister was standing frozen and vulnerable in the Nursery, “Come in here!” Her sister showed no sign of hearing her and rogues barged into the Nursery. “Ah look,” one purred, “There’s a little piece of treasure we can bring back to Kiete. She’ll be pleased.” “That mother must have been protecting her.” “Oh well,” the first voice dismissed, “She’s dead anyways.” Creamheart’s dead?'' Dawnkit felt dread seep into her heart. Palekit, run! She stared in horror as the second rogue stooped down and picked up a squealing Palekit. The two purred in pleasure and disappeared back out.'' Dawnkit let loose a sob. Both Creamheart and Palekit were gone. Determination flowed through her and she growled. ''I’ll never forgive rogues. I’ll hunt all of them down and kill them all when I grow strong! Dawnfur sighed and opened her eyes. Suddenly something dawned her. “The scent,” she whispered, “They had a specific scent. When Ratscar showed me where he last saw Flameheart, I smelled the rogue scent again!” Unease followed through her. ''Did they have something to do with Flameheart’s disappearance? ~ Snowbreeze definitely hated being without Graystorm. This is the second time, she thought bitterly, StarClan do you always have to take someone I love away from me? Even Storm doesn’t love me… She didn’t blame the gray she-cat for not loving her. She knew what Storm had gone through. Losing Dewheart and Crowheart must have been devastating to her. Then she thought her sister was dead, only to find out she was alive. She was tortured by the Vicious and experienced so much loss when she was only thirteen moons old. The white she-cat sighed. When had things gotten so difficult? Snowbreeze flicked some snow aside, thinking about how five moons ago when the snow had first started falling in WindClan… “Snowbreeze, can you take out a hunting patrol?” Onestar asked, flicking his tail, “Take Harespring, Weaselfur, and Rabbitpaw.” “Alright,” she called out, beckoning to the three cats Onestar had mentioned. “I hope it doesn’t rain,” she muttered, glancing nervously at the cloudy, dark gray sky. “It looks bad,” Harespring commented. Weaselfur shook his fur out, “Then we better make the most of our time and catch us some rabbits.” Snowbreeze nodded and bounded out, leading the patrol. They spotted a few rabbits darting up ahead and Snowbreeze eagerly made her way towards it. ''Hopefully I can make a good catch, Snowbreeze thought.'' Just as she closed in and barely managed to clamp her jaws around one rabbit, Rabbitpaw let out a squeal. “Look! There are rabbit tails floating down from the sky!” “Mousebrain,” Weaselfur scolded, “That’s snow and you scared off the other rabbits!” Harespring sighed, “Good catch, Snowbreeze. You’re fast on your paws. We definitely need you out here.” Snowbreeze ducked her head in embarrassment and thanked the tom for his praise. Something cold landed on her nose. “Snow,” she echoed dully. Snow meant less prey and colder weather. She shivered, “Let’s go back to camp and help set up warmer places to sleep and prepare for the worst of the storm.” Back then it had been easy. She was merely WindClan and didn’t have to worry about her life and her friends’ lives. If only things were just as easy… ~ Brownhare hated sitting here and being useless. He was sorting out herbs with Shade at his side, but the silence and tension between them made him feel uneasy. The conversation that had happened between them hadn’t made him feel any better. It reminded him when Shade was still guarding him… “Shade, we should talk.” Brownhare tried again. This time the dark gray she-cat whirled around angrily, “About what?” She snapped. Brownhare noticed that her eyes were puffy and red. “About us,” Brownhare gestured at the two of them with his tail, “And about why we’re both here.” “You mean why you’re sitting there looking like a prisoner while I’m being your guard?” Shade asked, her eyes fierce. “Yes.” Shade narrowed her eyes, “Well, only you can really answer any of our questions on why we’re both here. Especially why ''you’re there.”'' “It’s quite easy for me to answer,” Brownhare replied. Shade flicked her tail, “Then tell me.” “I did it to protect you.” The dark gray she-cat looked pained. “Look, if this is your way of making it up to me, you suck at it. Telling me you betrayed the whole group cause you ‘care’ for me won’t make me feel any better, okay?” “I’m serious,” Brownhare furrowed his brow, “I betrayed them for you.” “So it’s my fault?” Shade challenged, her eyes swelling with tears of anger and pain. “Don’t give me this pile of fox-dung, Brownhare, tell me the truth!” Brownhare told her everything. He explained that night when the Underground leader had approached him, and how he had threatened Shade. Shade visibly paled, but the fire in her eyes didn’t disappear. “You should tell the others,” Shade finally mewed, “Storm needs to understand what’s going on.” “I’m planning to when they come back,” Brownhare admitted, “Though about us…” “That’s for another time,” Shade interrupted. Brownhare bowed his head, “Alright, if that’s what you wish.” At first he thought she didn’t reply, but then he heard a small whisper, “No, I think that’s what ''you wished.”'' Brownhare nearly let out a frustrated sigh at his memories, but pushed it away. One day, Shade would heal. Or maybe she’d never heal but… He remembered what she told him that day she woke up and realized he had betrayed the group. “Some things cannot be forgiven.” Maybe she was right. ~ I rounded up the cats and turned to Brownhare and Shade. “Are you two alright staying alone? Maybe you should stay with RiverClan or Gorse could send a few Eagles over…?” “We’ll be fine,” Shade mewed briskly, though she looked a bit weak from her wound. Brownhare nodded, “I’m sure nothing will happen here,” he mewed, “I’m more worried about the battle.” I shook my head, “We’ll win.” We have to. The Underground had seemed insuperable, but now we had a chance with Brownhare’s reinforced plan. Perhaps we could avoid casualties and save our friends. Just maybe… Brownhare and Shade definitely talked, they seemed more comfortable with each other, but I could still see the tension between them. It’s okay, letting them talk more and be together is just another way for them to heal. For Shade to recover from everything. StarClan I hope I wasn’t risking everyone’s lives in the battle tonight… The End. Category:Fan Fictions Category:Cchen3's Fanfics Category:Cold